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For a lot of people, the holidays spell joy. But for a lot of other people, the holidays can be a very lonely, excruciating time. Whether your pain stems from being estranged from your family members or from missing a loved one who died, or  whether you’re heartbroken over a failed relationship, you don’t have to suffer alone. In this article, I’ll give you 7 tips for coping with loneliness during the Holidays.

Tip #1 – Stop Listening to Sad Music

There’s nothing worse than feeling down and then listening to sad music. Listening to weepy music actually keeps you in the vibration of sadness and loneliness – which attracts more sadness and loneliness.

Did you know that whatever you focus on with thought and feeling gets magnified?   It’s true.

Likewise, if you listen to upbeat music, it will amplify your good feelings. And you will attract good things to you. I like to start my morning off (first thing when I get out of the bed) with some really upbeat music – like Macho Man from The Village People.

But you don’t have to just do this in the morning. You can turn on upbeat music any time you’re feeling down, and I guarantee it will change your mood.

Tip #2 – Listen Motivational Audio Books

I know you’ve heard of Audible.Com.  Audible has 1,000s of self-help and motivational books.  Actually, Audible has books in every genre.  So you can listen to any book you want while you’re washing dishes, cleaning the house or driving.

My absolute favorite is The Secret, by Rhonda Byrnes.  My point is, rather than fill your mind with sad, weepy music, you can just as easily fill your mind with inspiring messages by listening to audio books.  Remember, we’re always programming ourselves whether consciously or unconsciously.

When you’re watching television, you’re programming your mind with whatever is on the television screen.  Why not take an active approach to programming your mind?

Tip #3 – Don’t Isolate, Socialize

Isolating during the holidays only amplifies your feelings of loneliness. Make plans well in advance with friends. If you don’t have friends, start making some. How? Well, there’s a site called MeetUp.com.

This site is not a dating site.

Rather, it’s a site that allows you to meet up with people based on your hobbies and interests. I love this site. I love archery. So I hooked up with a group on there that goes to play archery.

There are tons and tons of things to do with like-minded people on this site – from board games to horseback riding to wine tasting. By associating with people who have common interests, you naturally bond and make friends.

Tip #4 – Don’t Stalk Your Ex on Facebook

Okay. I know you’re heartbroken over your failed relationship. Your ex broke your heart – and right before Christmas. How could he? How cruel. The last thing you should be doing is going on his Facebook page to see what he’s up to.

That’s called cyber stalking.

And it’s only going to make you feel horrible if you see a picture of him out with friends having a great time. Or worse, with his new girlfriend! Instead of focusing on your ex, get a life.  Start exercising and get into shape. Join a gym. Not only will you feel better, you’ll look sexy and toned – and maybe, just maybe, he’ll want you back.

Tip #5 – Get Away For The Holidays

Yes! Go to Cancun. Go to Club Med. Go anywhere out of state – or better yet – go out of the country with other friends who may not have family. Who said you have to stick around in the cold and snow for the holidays? Take a cruise to the Bahamas.

And make sure you go with people that make you feel good about yourself.

Tip #6 – Stay Away From Toxic Family Members

Listen, I know holidays are supposed to be about family. But let’s face it – some families are just too toxic to be around. We all have that one overly critical parent who insists on trying to control and dominate you. Nothing you do is “right” or good enough.

Who needs that shit?  I don’t.

Neither do you.  You don’t have to be around family of origin. Sure, they’ll expect you to come, as you do every year. But why should you go there, knowing that you’re going to come away feeling badly about yourself?

Save yourself the headache. Go where it’s warm.

Get honest about how you feel after you’ve been around certain people. Then make sure you don’t put yourself in harm’s way. You’ll feel a lot better.

Make a new “family” for yourself.

Tip #7 – Stop Choosing to Be Lonely

The bottom line is, you’re lonely and feeling sad because you’re choosing to feel that way. You have a choice about how you feel. And what you do can either reinforce your feelings of loneliness and isolation or make you feel happy, loved and on top of the world during the holidays.

Surround Yourself With Love

Find people that cherish you, adore you and love you. Make those people your family of choice. By following these tips, you’ll find coping with loneliness during the holidays a breeze. In fact, you’ll be having so much fun, you won’t even notice you’re lonely!

I’d love to hear some of your strategies for coping with loneliness during the holidays. Please add your comments!